Never Again
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: When they said 'I do', she never thought he'd one day leave her to raise their son alone.
1. Introduction

_A/N: Sorry for the delay in putting this up, I just needed a couple days' break from posting. I wanted to thank you all so much for the crazy amount of reviews for Beyond Limits, And The Walls Came Tumbling Down, To Live Without Regrets, and Elevator Honesty. You astound and humble me every time with your response and I hope you know I appreciate every single comment. Thank you. Now I promise you I really didn't want to write this, I blame it all on the evil plot leprechauns who refused to let me quit no matter how much I wanted to. I have no idea what kind of response this is going to get, but I hope you'll all give it a fair shot. I'll try and put up one chapter a day, I think there's 7 or 8 altogether. Thanks :) ~Aliyah_

**December 2015**

Ziva was sitting on the floor building a block tower with two and a half year old Isaiah when Gibbs walked in the door wearing a haunted look she'd only seen once before. Her heart squeezed and she stood up, telling Siah softly in Hebrew that Mommy would be right back. Siah looked up and waved when he saw the silver haired former Marine standing in the doorway.

"Hi Grampa!" the little boy said cheerfully, turning back to his blocks.

Ziva joined her boss in the hallway and met his eyes. "Tell me."

Gibbs dragged a hand down his face and rested the other one on her shoulder. "Tony-" he started, and shock mingled with fear leapt into Ziva's eyes.

"What?"

The man swallowed. "He's gone Ziva."

Her brow furrowed. "Gone where Gibbs?" she demanded. Even after ten years in America some things still were taken very literally.

"No. He-he died today Ziver." She froze for a moment before tears flooded her eyes and Gibbs' words came quicker. "At the suspect's house...they were waiting for us...I'm so sorry."

"No!" Ziva shouted, drawing Siah's attention. She lowered her voice. "No. Tony is careful, he is always careful now. He wears his vest-"

"It was a high caliber round Ziva," Gibbs explained, "even body armour couldn't stop it."

"No." It was a whimper this time and she looked at the rings sparkling on her left hand. "He cannot be Gibbs. Tony would not leave me, he would not leave his son."

She collapsed and Gibbs caught her in his arms. "You and that little boy were the last things on his mind," he whispered, trying not to see Tony sprawled on the floor, blood pooling under his body as he grasped at Gibbs' arm, struggling to get the words out.

"_Boss...Ziva...Siah-"_

_Then his eyes fell closed and his struggles ceased and Gibbs slapped his hat on the floor hard. "Dang it DiNozzo! You did not have permission to die! Do you hear me?"_

_But yelling did nothing to bring his senior field agent back and all Gibbs could think of was the moment he'd have to tell Tony's wife that her husband was never coming home. The woman who, just like Abby, had become his daughter over the last several years._

Gibbs rocked Ziva gently, running his hand down her hair over and over. "He didn't want to leave Ziva, I know he didn't want to leave." Breaking Rule #6 was easy to do for her, but he would've given anything to not need to say those words. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Sobs wracked her body and Gibbs knew he'd never seen Ziva cry like that before. "I should have been there Gibbs," her words were muffled against his shirt. "I am supposed to have his back."

Gibbs didn't have any words for her, nothing would make this better. Suddenly a small hand on his leg brought his attention down.

"Grampa?" Siah asked, looking scared and confused. "Mommy? What wrong?"

Ziva tore herself from Gibbs' embrace, wiping at her tears as she knelt before her son. Her dark curls and Tony's green eyes...looking at the little boy she and Tony had longed for and loved started her tears again. She gathered Siah against her chest and held in her arms the life she and her husband had created out of their love for each other. A love she would never know again. Siah was all she had left of Tony and that realization made Ziva hold him even tighter.

Her son squirmed, not wanting to be confined, too little to know that his mother needed his comfort now. Ziva let go and watched as Siah went to Gibbs for his hug and she stood up, looking at them both before she bolted out the front door. Gibbs didn't bother calling her back, knowing that just like in any other crisis, Ziva needed to run. Instead he held the little boy that Tony had loved and lived for and watched her flee from a grief she would probably carry to her grave. Tony and Ziva had been soulmates and something like that couldn't be replaced.

**NCIS**

Ziva ran. She ran hard and fast away from the little house in the quiet neighbourhood where she and Tony had settled to start a family. Away from the news that had stopped her world, away from the loss that was digging in thousands of tiny claws and tearing at her heart. Lungs burning and muscles screaming, Ziva pushed through the pain that didn't even compare to the anguish in her soul and ran, flashes of her life with Tony hitting her with every step. SNAP! Her and Tony's first kiss not undercover, the moment that she knew just being friends was no longer an option. SNAP! Tony taking her dancing, and dropping to one knee on the ballroom floor, holding out the little blue box that would change their lives forever. SNAP! Their wedding day and a picture someone took of Tony sweeping her into his arms, the biggest grin she'd ever seen plastered on his face.

There were more, each one sending the claws a little deeper as tears Ziva didn't even feel streamed down her face. Their wedding night and how his love was conveyed so deeply in every tender touch. Their first big fight and how he made her listen to his side and refused to let her walk away. Three full years together before Ziva discovered she was pregnant, and the joy in Tony's face the first time he held his son. Working together, raising a family, and each night spent in the shelter of her husband's arms.

The memories were too much and Ziva stumbled, screaming out a loss so deep she couldn't see the bottom, not caring who heard. Somewhere in an empty park, she collapsed on the frosty ground against a tree, crying until she had no strength left. Never again would she feel her husband's arms around her while she slept. Never again would she see the teasing glint she loved in his beautiful green eyes. Never again would he kiss her lips like he'd done before walking out the door today, or whisper 'I love you' over and over in her ear as he'd done last night and this morning, and every night and day before this one. Never again would he play with Siah or rock him to sleep or cuddle him on the couch. He couldn't take him swimming or push him on the swing, or watch him go down the slide, his favourite thing to do at the park. Tony, the man to whom she had given every part of herself, was dead. Never again would Ziva know a love like that.

**NCIS**

It was hours later before Ziva finally dragged herself home, and it scared Gibbs to see the dead look in her eyes. No light in them at all until she picked up her son and settled him on her hip. "Take us to see Tony," she requested, her voice flat. "We want to say goodbye."

Knowing he couldn't argue with that, Gibbs nodded and grabbed his keys. There was only silence the whole way back to NCIS. Gibbs flashed his badge at the door and stood with Ziva and Siah as they rode the elevator down to Autopsy. Ducky, having anticipated a visit, had Tony cleaned up and ready for viewing, his body covered by a white sheet. When Ziva walked in holding Siah, Ducky, Jimmy, and Gibbs filed out, waiting by the elevator to give her a moment of privacy. Ziva stood still beside her husband's body. He was too motionless to look like he was only sleeping, but his son was too young to realize that.

Leaning over, he patted Tony's shoulder. "Wake up Daddy!" the little boy urged. Then he frowned. "Mommy, he cold."

Ziva laid her palm against Tony's cheek, his cold skin giving her the chills. But she shook them away. "Kiss Daddy goodbye," she whispered to Siah, holding him beside Tony's face.

Obediently Siah pressed his little lips to Tony's cheek. Then he looked at Ziva. "Daddy not coming home?"

She shook her head, feeling tears prick at her eyes again. "No tatelah, Daddy is not coming home." The child's face puckered and he started to cry. Ziva rested her head against his and rubbed his back. "I am sorry Siah."

"Want my daddy!" he demanded.

"I know." Ziva's voice broke. "I want him too." Then she took her son out of the room and handed him to Gibbs. "Take him to Abby," she said, "I would like to stay with Tony." Ziva eyed Ducky. "Doctor?"

"Of course, my dear." Ducky took her hand. "Stay as long as you like."

Ziva walked back into the cold room and ran her fingers through Tony's hair. "You were not supposed to leave," she said softly. Gently, her fingertips traced the contours of his beloved face. Her hand ghosted over his covered chest, the reality of the truth enforced when there was no familiar heartbeat under her palm. She leaned over to rest her head next to his. "What are we going to do without you?"

Humming a Hebrew hymn, Ziva took in her husband's features one last time. She lightly touched her lips to his, a few of her silent tears falling on his cheeks. The lack of response convinced her that he truly was dead. Tony, her Tony, could never be that close and not touch her. "My heart will always be yours ahava. I love you." Then she left and as she walked away, Ziva DiNozzo never looked back.

**NCIS**

Tony was buried two days later, and it brought no comfort to his grieving wife that his killer lay in a cold drawer in Autopsy with more than one bullet in him. After a month, Ziva went back to her maiden name, not wanting to see her loss every time she signed her name or introduced herself. But after six years of being Ziva DiNozzo, David felt foreign on the end of her pen and rolling off her tongue. And it didn't really help, because she was reminded her loss every morning she woke up to an empty bed or whenever she looked into her son's green eyes. She swore he looked more like Tony every day.

That same week she enrolled Siah in daycare and returned from her leave of absence to take her place on the team again. Out of respect it was two months before the director started forwarding personnel files to Agent Gibbs, and a month after that before a new agent got assigned to their team.

But with Tony gone, nothing was the same. The new guy learned quickly, followed orders, and occasionally tried joking around, though it was clear no one appreciated that. There were no more headslaps and no teasing. Ziva never spoke unless it was absolutely necessary, Gibbs grew more withdrawn except with the girls and his grandson, and McGee did his job and kept his explanations to a minimum. Abby's music eventually came back on, and her hair fell into pigtails instead of buns. But the heart of their team was gone.

Each night Ziva left work in time to pick Siah up from daycare, and went back to the apartment where they had moved two months after the funeral. It was close to Gibbs and work, and away from the little yellow house full of broken memories and shattered dreams. Then she poured what was left of her heart into loving, caring for, and raising Tony's son. And that was their life for a long, long time.

Ziva only laughed for Siah, only smiled when he walked into a room. Everything else was meaningless except for him. On weekends they spent a lot of time with Gibbs. He carved toys for Siah and taught him to throw a football and hit a baseball. As Siah grew, their Saturdays were spent in the backyard playing catch or shooting hoops in the driveway. Tony had been a jock, and she'd heard more than a few stories about his high school and college days, so it shouldn't've surprised Ziva that his son was good at almost every sport he tried.

Wherever Siah was, Ziva sat nearby with a glass of water or iced tea and watched, her eyes never leaving the little boy that was her life. That was what they did, day in and day out, week after week, month after month. However, four and a half years later, the year Siah turned seven, in the midst of the quiet routine that kept Ziva sane, with the memory of Tony never far from her heart or her eyes as Siah quickly became his mirror image, something happened that would change everything.

_Replies:_

_Shalise40 (BL) - Thanks :) No, even if this made you wonder, no one else will ever find out where Chaya came from. Glad you liked it :)_

_Emma (BL) - I'm always glad to see a name :) Thank you, I'm glad this lived up to all the hype. Always glad to hear people like my stories. I try to reply to as many reviews as I can. Thanks for leaving them! :)_

_Sarah (TLWR) - Thank you :) I tried to just expand on the episodes rather than rewrite them. haha...me too, those bikini pictures are one thing that never seem to die. Glad you liked Tony's comments. lol...I just had to do something with elope, since that word seemed to mean an awful lot more than they said during the wedding conversation. Tony, in these stories, is so easy to fall in love with. I wonder if there's real guys out there like that? Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Sarah (EH) - I think a 2 hour premier would've been amazing, but with NCIS I'll always take what I can get. I'm glad you liked the chapter. I was hoping the story about Ziva's fear would be realistic. I was super surprised that Eli called, but I guess it's nice to know he cares. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Guest 9/28/12 . chapter 1 _

_Cheryl here. I totally agree with your A/N. I also wanted to see the immediate aftermath of our team. I also found it completely unbelievable that no one was hurt. Abby seemed to be getting treated for something on the right side of her neck, but later on I couldn't even see a bandaid and she hugged Ziva on that side which probably would've hurt had there been a fresh cut there. Tim's piece of glass just needed stitches, and Gibbs had the spot of blood on his forehead. That's it! Especially if they were doing timeshifts, they could've had someone (or more than one - Ziva and McGee seem to be the concensus of posy 9x24 stories) down for that first segment, and better by the July 10th segment. Also, the first FBI part was stupid. If Dearing was to be gotten with extreme predjudice, that female agent should've killed him on the street where they were talking- she knew who he was and the street was deserted except for them._

_This story was okay but not as intense as what I am used to from you. It was more narrative - like watching them from above as opposed to being in it with the characters. I only felt "in it" in the beginning, with T & Z's conversation. You keep writing, and I will keep reading._

_Cheryl (EH) - That's a good point, not that I wanted anyone to get hurt, but it seemed likely. Oh, was there another date between May and September? I must've missed that, I was too busy sitting on the edge of my seat. I'll have to watch again to see that. Good point about the FBI lady. Glad to hear you're sticking around, thanks for reviewing!_


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: Once again you guys have outdone yourselves, thank you for the response to this. I thought I'd be lucky to get a handful of reviews considering the subject, so I am thrilled that so many of you are planning to stick around. Thanks for giving this a chance. ~Love, Aliyah :)_

**June 2020**

Dayne Cole nearly dropped the groceries he was holding when a beautiful olive skinned woman with straight dark hair walked past him, carrying a basket and holding the hand of a young boy who was clearly her son. Trying to be unobtrusive, Dayne ran into them a couple more times and managed to catch a glimpse of the woman's left hand. When he saw that she didn't wear a ring, his heart leapt. Was it possible she wasn't spoken for? A fleeting question about her son's father nagged at him and Dayne accepted that he would have to learn more before he got his hopes up.

A little ways down the aisle, Siah pointed to his favourite cereal as Ziva checked for what was on sale. "Can we get Lucky Charms Mom, please?!" he begged.

Ziva glanced at the man standing several feet away, pretending to be interested in the jam selection. She answered her son in Hebrew and the boy switched languages effortlessly, continuing his argument. She teased him a little, pointing out other options and attempting to haggle with him before finally letting Siah grab the colourful red box off the shelf. She felt eyes on her as they walked away and had to fight the urge to position her hand near her waist. This was the supermarket not work, but she always carried weapons with her just in case. After what happened to Tony, she was never at ease about their safety again.

They waited in line at the checkout, chatting about Siah's day in school and their plans for the summer. Occasionally Ziva would switch from English to German or French or Spanish, to see how Siah was doing with keeping them all straight in his head. Hebrew was not an issue, he'd learned it from the cradle, and since Tony died they spoke it exclusively at home, and English at school and with his grandfather. But Ziva knew the benefit of being multi-lingual and tried to teach him the other languages she knew as well. Over time it became clear that while Siah had inherited his dad's looks and personality, their son had her gift for languages, soaking in everything she taught him like a sponge.

She felt a presence behind her and glanced over her shoulder without appearing to move. It was the same man again and he was paying unusual attention to them. But he dropped his eyes from her as soon as Ziva noticed, to focus on the comic book Siah was flipping through. "Spiderman your favourite Buddy?" he asked, genuine interest in his eyes.

"Oh yes," Siah answered enthusiastically, "I love Spiderman. Uncle Tim says-" Ziva's hand rested on his shoulder and Siah's smile disappeared. "Oops, I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

"Oh." Dayne nodded, unsurprised. The woman seemed very protective of her son. "Well, that's a good rule. I bet your mom is just trying to keep you safe. But you know, if we introduce ourselves we won't be strangers any more. I'm new to the city and I could use some friends, especially one like you who enjoys Spiderman comics." He grinned at Ziva. "Why don't you ask if that's okay?"

Siah turned slightly and spoke to his mom in a language Dayne wasn't familiar with. But since they'd been standing in line he'd heard them go through Spanish and French, and what he thought was German. Spanish he was familiar with but he'd lost a lot of his skills since his grandmother passed away.

After a brief conversation, Siah looked back at the man and held out his hand. "Mom said yes. Hi, I'm Siah."

Dayne smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you Siah, my name is Dayne." He glanced at Ziva. "Think your mom will tell me her name too?"

Siah turned an inquiring look on the woman behind him. She gave Dayne a tight smile and didn't offer her hand. "Ziva."

There was something in her eyes that he'd seen before, a dark empty hole that spoke of a loss she'd never recovered from. Waiting until Siah was otherwise occupied, because baseball cards were also on display, Dayne met Ziva's gaze and said quietly, "His father's dead, isn't he?" Shock and wariness leapt into Ziva's eyes and her expression hardened. Dayne held up his hands to show he wasn't a threat. "I know that look," he explained. "My mom always carried the grief in her eyes after my dad died too."

Ziva visibly relaxed and traced her empty ring finger. "Tony used to say that my eyes never shut up." She bit her lip. "I am sorry for your loss."

He shrugged. "It was a long time ago, but you never forget." Dayne threw a pointed look at Siah. "Does he...?"

Ziva shook her head sadly. "Siah does not remember his father. He was not even three when Tony died."

Compassion was written all over Dayne's face. "I'm sorry. That's rough."

She nodded, absently running her fingers through Siah's curls. "It is hard sometimes, especially now." She sighed. "Siah looks very much like his dad."

"Siah?" Dayne commented. "That's an interesting name. Is it related to your background?" Her subtle accent and lack of contractions in her sentences spoke of one born elsewhere, and English learned as a second or third language perhaps.

Ziva pulled a gold chain out of her shirt and touched the small, six point star. "I am Israeli, though I have been an American for several years. But yes, Siah's full name is Isaiah."

"But only Ducky calls me that," Siah reminded her, still shuffling through the packages of cards.

"Ducky?" Dayne asked.

"An older man I work with," she explained. Then Ziva frowned. "I do not usually talk about my life to strangers."

"We're not strangers," Dayne said quickly. "Maybe we could even be friends."

Ziva wasn't sure how to feel about that. There had not been a man in her life for years nor had she wanted one, but something about Dayne called to her, drew her, and so she found herself agreeing. "Yes. Maybe."

"Can Dayne come with us to get ice cream Mom?" Siah asked, suddenly paying attention again.

Ziva looked down, slightly embarrassed. "I am sure Mr. Dayne is busy. He may not have time."

Siah rolled his eyes. "Well, can I ask him?"

Ziva looked at Dayne and shrugged, glad he was smiling and not annoyed. "Yes," she gave in, "you may ask."

Siah turned eagerly to his new friend. "Mr. Dayne, want to come get ice cream with me and Mom? It's just around the corner."

Dayne smiled and put his hand on Siah's shoulder. "How did you know? I've been wanting ice cream all afternoon but I didn't know where to go. I'd love to come."

"Yes!" Siah jumped in the air once, then Ziva handed over her basket.

"Please put our things on the belt." She faced Dayne. "Thank you," she said softly. "There are some great men in my son's life, but he does not have many friends."

"My pleasure," Dayne smiled briefly. "So tell me Ziva, what's your favourite kind of ice cream?"

**NCIS**

Dayne, Ziva, and Siah passed an enjoyable hour at the ice cream shop. Ziva found Dayne very easy to talk to and very open. He wasn't in law enforcement and didn't carry the darkness in him that came with that line of work. Rather, Dayne's job fit his personality - he was a grade school gym teacher - and as Ziva watched the man interact with her son, she could see that he was good at it. He connected really well with Siah and listened and talked to him like he was an adult and an important part of the conversation. Not many people did that with kids. While they enjoyed dessert in the middle of the afternoon, Dayne told them all about growing up in Michigan, about his younger sister Carter who lived in California, and about his dog, Jake. That drew Siah's interest immediately. The young boy loved animals, especially McGee's dog.

"Is he a German Shepherd?" Siah asked. "Uncle Tim's dog is a German Shepherd." It was clear Siah thought that breed was the best.

Dayne shook his head and made a face. "Nah, Jake is more of a mutt really. He's part Collie, part Lab, and he thinks the other part is human, but it's more like some kind of retriever." He shrugged. "I'm not really sure."

"Can I come and see him sometime?" was Siah's next question.

"Uhh...that's kinda up to your mom Buddy, but I'm sure Jake would love to meet you. He needs someone who can show him around the city. Know any good parks?"

Siah started describing his favourite places to go and Dayne glanced at Ziva. There was a wistful look on her face as she watched her son and his new friend. Dayne had a feeling she was thinking about her husband and how he was missing this.

When he finished, Siah turned to his mom. "Can we show Jake the park near Grampa's house, please Mom?"

Ziva was uncertain. Everything was happening so fast, she wasn't sure how to feel about it or what to think. "Let us wait until next week Siah," she said finally. Siah opened his mouth to protest but Ziva shot him a look. "You will be out of school then and we can talk about it."

Siah didn't look thrilled with the idea but decided it wasn't worth fighting about. Once he was absorbed in his ice cream again, Dayne nudged Ziva's hand with his finger. "Uncle Tim?" he asked. "Brother in law?"

Ziva shook her head. "No, Tony did not have any siblings." At his look of confusion she tried to explain. "I work as part of a team and we have always been more like family. Our boss is who Siah calls Grampa, he is a father to all of us. Ducky is a doctor and works downstairs. Tim is on our team and he and my husband were...close, so Siah adopted him as 'Uncle'. There is also Abby, who is in charge of the lab. She may be Siah's favourite person."

Dayne noticed she was being deliberately vague about where she worked and didn't press her. "Gotcha. Well, I'm all for teaching kids manners and respect for adults, but is there any chance you could drop the 'Mr.' off the front of my name? I'd be happy for Siah to just call me Dayne."

"Alright," Ziva approved. "And I hope you like seven year olds, because Siah really enjoys your company. He will want to do this again," she warned him.

Dayne laughed. "Works for me. Seven was my favourite age." At the end, Dayne slipped Ziva his card. "This is all my contact information. Call me, email me, whatever works. I really liked meeting you guys, but I don't want you to feel pressured."

Ziva appreciated his thoughtfulness. "Thank you. It was good meeting you as well. Come on Siah," she held her hand out to her son, "it is time to go."

Siah tucked his hand into hers and turned around to smile and wave at Dayne. "Bye Dayne. See you next week."

"Bye Siah," he said simply, leaving the rest up to Ziva. He hoped she called. Dayne had a feeling those two could be a very special, very important part of his life. Now he just had to wait and see.

**NCIS**

To Dayne's surprise and delight - because he was beginning to lose hope - Ziva called two weeks later and the three of them met at a park in the center of the city. Siah and Jake got along famously from the first second they laid eyes on each other, and a frisbee kept the two of them busy once Dayne showed Siah how to use it. He and Ziva followed them around, talking about anything that came to mind.

On Monday Gibbs was the first one to notice that Ziva was smiling, but the others didn't dare say anything until she left to go get a report from Ducky. "Boss, was Ziva...smiling?" McGee asked. It was hard to believe, especially since Siah wasn't around.

"Maybe she met someone," the new guy put in. It had been years but they still called him that. He never really felt like part of the team, but he'd eventually heard the whole story about why he got the job and he understood. Still, it would be nice if things lightened up a little bit. And the new guy had a feeling Ziva was the key to a change.

McGee scoffed at the idea, sounding very Tony-like. "Yeah, right." But Gibbs didn't say anything and McGee frowned. "Boss?"

"It's been almost five years Tim, don't you think she deserves to be happy?"

McGee was taken aback. "Uh, yes, of course-" He was cut off when Gibbs pushed his chair back.

"Goin' for coffee," he muttered. Yes, Ziva deserved to be happy, but Gibbs wasn't sure he was ready for things to change.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (NA) - Always a pleasure :) It hurt to write too. And I cried at least one of the times I proofread it. I hate writing Ziva without Tony, it isn't right. But once the idea took hold, I had to explore what that grief would look like. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_tranquility (NA) - I know this was sad, I'm glad you're willing to keep reading. Really? You think my writing has gotten better since I started? That's neat to hear. The emotions in this one almost feel like I'm drowning, it's so hard to imagine that kind of pain. Thank you :)_

_ncis-1001 (NA) - I'm glad you like it. I wish it hadn't happened either. Hopefully the rest of the story remains as profound as this beginning. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Aspenxo (NA) - I hate stories where Tony dies too, trust me. I did not want to write this story but it wouldn't let go. I'm glad you think I write well, thanks. I know I'm probably going to lose a lot of readers because of the storyline. But after this all other stories will look much happier! Thanks for reviewing!_


	3. Chapter 2

**October 2020**

More than two months and several meetings later, Dayne was invited to Gibbs' house and challenged to a game of HORSE. Both he and Siah were having a field day playing and when it was Dayne's turn the ball swished through the hoop and Siah threw up his arms. "Three point shot! Dayne, you're the coolest!" The two high-fived, grinning at each other, but for Ziva the moment froze and she heard in her head an echo of the memory for what might've been.

_Siah standing there, smiling in little boy adoration at the green eyed man who was doing his own victory dance for the basket. "Dad, you're the coolest!"_

_Tony laughed and ruffled his son's curls. "Thanks little man, but I bet your mom would disagree." He leaned down as if to share a secret. "She thinks you're the coolest kid around."_

Her vision of the future they should have had ended there and Ziva closed her eyes, trying to hold onto the picture, to capture the joy in Tony's eyes, to hear the sound of his laugh. She still missed it, even almost five years later. Standing up quickly, she hurried inside so Siah and Dayne would not see her tears. "Excuse me."

Dayne frowned and Siah played with the basketball in his hands. "Mom always has to go see Grampa when she's thinking about my dad."

They sat down on the grass facing the free standing hoop set up on the driveway and Dayne leaned back on his hands. "What do you remember about your dad Buddy?"

Siah shrugged. "I don't know really. I mean, Mom's told me all the stories and I have his picture in my room, but I don't remember anything for myself."

"That's tough," Dayne commented. "Do you miss him?"

The boy chewed on his lip as he thought about it. "I guess I miss having a dad and I miss him for Mom, because she's sad without him. But I don't miss him from my heart because I never got to know him."

Dayne put his hand on Siah's knee, impressed by the wise answer. "You're a good kid Siah, I'm sure your dad would be proud."

"Thanks." He stood up and brushed off his pants. "Ready for another round?"

Dayne grinned. "You're on!"

**NCIS**

Later that afternoon, when Dayne had gone and while Gibbs kept Siah entertained, Ziva knelt on the ground in front of her husband's grave. She slowly traced the letters spelling out his name and the dates of his life. "Sometimes I hate you for leaving us. I hate myself for not being there to have your back. I hate Gibbs for not saving you and the team for letting us both down. And then I hate that there is no one else to blame because the man who pulled the trigger is dead as well."

Her fingers swirled through the grass and Ziva blinked back tears, though they were still evident in her voice. "Our son...our son loves Dayne. Dayne is the one taking him to the park and playing basketball and cheering at his soccer games. This is our son Tony! And you are missing it. I am afraid to let go ahava," her voice dropped to a whisper, "and I do not know what to do because I think I am starting to love Dayne too." She shook her head, feeling so confused. "Or maybe not...I do not know. I am grateful for him, for the place he is filling in our lives, but there is a part of me that wishes we did not need him, because then we would still have you."

She sighed. "You are gone. You have been gone for so many days and weeks and I have been alone. Yet I still feel as if I am betraying your love each time I smile at Dayne or let him make me laugh. What am I supposed to do ahava? I do not know how to be without you. I am not sure I want to learn. But I miss the happy times and I would like them again, somehow." Ziva closed her eyes and kissed her fingertips. "You are always in my heart. Shalom, ahuvi sheli."

The walk back to her car was slow and sad and Ziva sat inside for a long time just remembering. What she wouldn't give for one more day. She had taken far too many of them for granted, thinking he would always be there to cherish. She arrived back at the house after Siah was in bed and fell into Gibbs' arms, letting the tears fall this time. "I do not want to be without him," she cried. "I do not want it to hurt anymore Gibbs. Please make it stop."

His heart broke for the fragile woman in his arms who was at her strongest even when she thought she was weak. Gibbs wished to the depths of his soul that he could find a way to take her pain away, that he could rewind the days and bring back the man she still loved so much. But having been where she was, he knew wishes and dreams were impossible and disappointing and he could do nothing except hold her tightly and be the support she so desperately needed.

**NCIS**

Dayne didn't hear from Ziva for over a weeks and was starting to get concerned. Over the last few months they'd rarely gone more than a couple days without speaking, even it was just about Siah. Maybe he should've hung around that day to make sure she was okay. But just when he was wrestling over the decision of whether or not to call, the phone rang and it was Siah, wondering if he could come and play with Jake. The moment he saw Ziva, walking towards him with her son at the park, Dayne knew how much of a sacrifice it was to let Siah come and spend time with him. She was very quiet, sitting under a tree with her book while the boys played frisbee and fetch and several games of tag with Jake. They ended up laughing in a tangled heap on the ground, while Jake sniffed and licked them and tried to get in on the fun.

When they were all tuckered out, Dayne suggested grabbing an early dinner at a local pizza parlour. Ziva's hesitation made him wonder, but Siah quickly filled in the blanks. "Mom doesn't like pizza," he informed his friend.

Dayne cast a glance at Ziva and could see from her expression that it was more than that. He didn't want to ask the reason in front of Siah, but he had a pretty good guess. So instead he just smiled when she said yes and escorted them both to the pizza place. They ordered one that was half pepperoni and half vegetarian, because Dayne wasn't sure about Ziva's preferences or if she kept kosher with her eating habits. She gave him a faint smile in thanks but sat looking at her slice so long he almost felt bad for enjoying his.

Finally she sighed and picked it up, taking a tentative bite. Dayne could've sworn she blinked back tears as she slowly chewed and swallowed and it wasn't until Siah went to the bathroom that he reached out and touched her hand, not liking how she jumped when his skin brushed hers. "What's wrong Ziva?" he asked gently.

She looked up at him, sadness in her gaze. "Tony loved pizza, it was his favourite food. I have not..." Ziva sighed and returned her eyes to her plate. "This is the first time I have tasted any in over five years."

Dayne rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm sorry Ziva. I never thought about how many things would trigger your memories."

She shrugged. "It is not your fault. And perhaps it is time I start making new memories." Ziva stared in the direction her son had gone. "For Siah, and for me."

He squeezed her fingers and then let go. Dayne admired her courage so much. Starting over now after such a loss that had touched every area of her life...he was honoured to be a part of her decision. But even now he wondered how long it would take before the memories allowed her to begin moving on.

**NCIS**

**December 2020**

Dayne and Ziva and Siah were friends for six months before he dared to ask her out. Smiling sadly, Ziva shook her head and Dayne felt his heart drop. He'd been sure... But then Ziva didn't say no, she just said not yet and he could hope again. She explained later that Tony had died six year ago that month, and it was only weeks after what would've been their eleventh anniversary, so she couldn't think about another man at that time.

Three months later Ziva left Siah with Gibbs and drove out to the cemetery. In her hands she held a picture of her and Tony laughing together, she was never without it. Kneeling by her husband's tombstone, Ziva ran her fingers across the carved out letters. "Six years ahava," she whispered, "and I still miss everything about you. Your touch, your kiss, the sound of your voice. What I would not give to hear it one more time." Ziva clutched the picture to her chest and closed her eyes, trying to keep back the tears. "I know what I promised Tony, and I will love you until my last breath. But six years is a long time and I want my heart to be happy again. I am sorry Beloved," Ziva leaned forward and kissed the stone, "I cannot grieve you forever." She stood up and rested her hand on the top.

"Dayne is a good man. Siah adores him and I think he could help us be happy. He could help me be happy." Siah was happy just because that was his nature, very little got him down except when she was hurting, so Ziva tried never to cry in front of her son. Ziva sighed. "I wish you were here to be Siah's father, I wish he remembered you. But he does not and I cannot change that." Squatting down, she pulled the earth back from the bottom of the headstone a little and tucked the picture down in front of it. "I am afraid to say goodbye Tony, I have been yours for so long. Since the first time you looked at me you had a claim on my heart. And now I need it back." Tears fell on the green grass and Ziva pushed the curls behind her ear. For over half a decade she'd straightened her hair, unable to look in the mirror and see the wild waves Tony loved. Today was a new start.

"I love you," she whispered, tearing herself away. "Goodbye." Ziva cried all the way back to Gibbs' house and then sat in the car until she felt able to face him and her son. It was time to start living again, time to open her heart again, time to rediscover joy. It was time.

Despite her resolve, Gibbs could see the evidence of her tears the second she walked in the door and left Siah colouring at the kitchen table to go to her side. "Ziver?"

She clenched her jaw, fighting for control. "I said goodbye to Tony," she whispered and Gibbs wrapped her in his arms.

"It's never gonna be easy," he told her gruffly, wrestling with his own emotions, "but I am so proud of you for taking this step, for not allowing the hurt to keep you forever." Gibbs brushed his hand down her hair. "Nice to see some of the old you coming back."

Ziva blinked quickly. "I will never be that me again. That Ziva died when Tony did. But this is a start, to who I am going to be now."

As if sensing her distress, Siah got up and came over to hug her. "Your hair looks pretty Mom."

She smiled. "Thank you tatelah." She tried not to use the baby names any more because he was growing up so fast, but sometimes it was hard to resist. Ziva leaned down and kissed his head, holding him close. Even though she was starting to let go, she realized that she would always have an important part of Tony with her. Their son was her best memory.

The next time he saw her, Dayne took in the new look. "Did you get your hair permed Ziva? It looks great all curly like that."

Letting Siah run to the backyard to play with Jake, she bit her lip. "The curls are natural. I normally use a straightener."

He cocked his head to the side. "Need a change?"

"It was time," she said after a long moment and Dayne got the feeling that something significant had happened, but realized he would have to wait to find out what it was. Waving his arm towards the house, he offered her something to drink and they headed out the backdoor, ready to find out who would run out of energy first - Jake or the seven year old. In the end, it was a tie.

**NCIS**

**June 2021**

Dayne waited half a year before he asked Ziva out again and this time she smiled a little shyly and said yes. Dayne grinned and looked like a little boy about to celebrate before he composed himself and calmly suggested dinner at a nice restaurant. He'd been saving and hoping for this. Despite her grief for her husband and the responsibility she had with Siah, Dayne already knew that Ziva was something special and he wanted to be with her.

On a Friday near the end of June a year after their first meeting, Ziva got dressed up and drove over to Gibbs' with Siah. "Can he stay with you tonight?" she asked.

Gibbs looked her up and down. "Plans?" he asked gruffly.

She looked a little nervous. "I am going on a date, with Dayne." His blessing meant so much to her and she held her breath, waiting for his reaction.

Gibbs sighed and looked down for a minute before he could muster up a smile. "Good for you," he said, surprising her. "You've grieved for long enough."

Ziva bit her lip. "Gibbs, do you think Tony..." She didn't know how to ask.

Gibbs drew her into a comforting hug. "I think Tony would want you to be happy, you and Siah both. Now go and have a good time." Ziva smiled gratefully and started to leave, kissing Siah quickly. "Oh and Ziva," she turned, "bring him back with you. I think it's about time I met this guy." Although Dayne had been at Gibbs' house with Ziva and Siah many times over the past several months, he'd never gone inside and Gibbs had never come out. But now it was time to face what was happening and try to accept it.

"You'll like Dayne Grampa," Siah said confidently, unaware of the deeper meaning behind Gibbs' request. "He's my best friend. Well, except for Kenton and Sasha," he amended, being sure not to leave out his friends from school.

Ziva stared into Gibbs eyes and nodded slowly. "Alright, we will see you later."

**NCIS**

Dinner was surprisingly nice. Dayne on a date was no different than Dayne as her friend out for ice cream. He was polite, sweet, easy to talk to, and a complete gentleman - just like always. They shared dessert - Ziva found his sweet tooth amusing. She had not often seen a guy who was such a dessert connoisseur - and he let her have the last bite of raspberry cheesecake. At the end of the meal Ziva leaned her head on one hand and looked at him. "My boss wants to meet you," she told Dayne.

His eyebrows rose. "So this is like...meet the parents? I think I'm up for it."

"Yes." Ziva hesitated slightly, recognizing an unintentional movie reference, but she shook the thought away. Dayne would never be Tony and she did not want him to be, she liked him for him. Sometimes she just had to remind herself of that. "Except there is only one and he may answer the door holding his gun."

Dayne sat back in his chair, intrigued. "Ok. But he's going to let me say something before he shoots me, right?"

Ziva considered this. "He might," she answered finally. "Are you scared off yet?"

His eyes went serious in a blink. "Never. I'm hoping for more than just one date with you Ziva. What are my chances?"

Dayne's honesty surprised Ziva, but it shouldn't've. "If you pass the 'Gibbs test'," she smiled slightly, "I think you will have a chance."

He nodded. "That's good enough for now."

Half an hour later they stood on Gibbs' front porch. Out of curiosity to see what would happen, Ziva knocked on the door. Gibbs answered, already glowering, his gun holster visible at his hip. She rolled her eyes. "Well, at least you are not holding it."

Gibbs jerked his head at Ziva. "Siah's downstairs sanding the boat. Why don't you go help him?" His tone made it clear that it was not a suggestion.

Ziva raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes Abba," she teased, throwing a glance at Dayne over her shoulder. "Good luck."

Dayne answered her with an easy grin. "Am I going to need it?"

"That depends," Gibbs growled.

Dayne was a bit taken aback. "On what?"

Gibbs looked him up and down. "Your answers to my questions."

Nodding, Dayne took a deep breath and met Gibbs' gaze squarely, holding out his hand. "Dayne Cole. Nice to meet you S-" he paused, remembering Ziva telling him once that her boss didn't like being called 'Sir', "uh, Mr. Gibbs."

Gibbs shook his hand firmly and grunted, opening the door wider. "You may as well come in." Dayne swallowed, trying not to look nervous. A lot was riding on this meeting. Gibbs led him into the livingroom and Dayne stood until the man gestured to a couch. Gibbs paced back and forth in front of him a few times before setting his feet and staring hard at Dayne. "Are you serious?" he asked gruffly.

Dayne frowned. "About?"

"About Ziva," Gibbs clarified darkly, giving the impression that Dayne should've known what he was talking about.

He nodded slowly. "Very."

"And Siah?" Gibbs needed to know this wasn't just about his beautiful daughter. She'd turned more than a few heads, before and after Tony, but he'd never let them get close to her unless he knew they cared about more than her looks.

Dayne smiled, glad for an easy question. "Siah's a great kid, hard not to love. She's done really well raising him on her own. I lost my own dad when I was a teen, so I know it's tough."

Grudgingly, Gibbs had to admit to himself that Dayne's answers were good. "I need to know what your intentions are."

It wasn't inflected as a question, but Dayne understood he still had to say something significant here. He leaned forward, propping elbows on his knees. "That depends on Ziva," he said finally. "But if she'll have me, I want to be a part of her life permanently." Dayne sighed and met Gibbs' gaze. "Someday, I want to marry her."

The guys had guts, Gibbs almost smiled that time. "Do you love her?" It was perhaps the most important question. Because Tony had loved Ziva with a passion Gibbs had only seen equaled in what he felt for Jenny back in Paris. Ziva had given herself body and soul to Tony, their oneness something almost awe inspiring. They had been true soulmates. So he needed to know what she and Dayne would be, if they ended up together.

Dayne considered Gibbs' words carefully. "I have a hard time taking my eyes off of her when we're in the same room. If her skin touches mine I feel like lightning must've struck nearby. I think her laughter is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, and nothing makes me happier than to see her smile pointed my way, unless it's the way she looks at Siah. I can't wait to see them again, and every time I go it's harder to leave. So yeah," he ran a hand down his face, "I think I'm pretty close. If this isn't love, I don't know that love could be a whole lot deeper."

Gibbs' pinned the man to his seat with a stare, and continued scrutinizing his eyes and expression for several long moments. Finally satisfied that he was indeed telling the truth, he nodded. "Six years is a long time to be alone once you've been a couple," he told Dayne seriously. "Don't rush her."

Clearly that was an order and Dayne also felt that might be the closest to a 'yes' and a blessing as he would get. He chuckled. "I waited six months for a first date. I think I can be patient."

"Alright then." Gibbs stood up. When Dayne moved to follow him, he pointed to the couch. "Stay."

Dayne had to bite back the 'yes Sir' and the feeling that he'd been told.

Gibbs clumped down the basement steps and stared at Ziva a moment before nodding. "He passed. You should at least go say thank you." A real smile spread over Ziva's face and she touched Siah's shoulder before hurrying towards the stairs. Gibbs stopped her partway up. "He really cares about you Ziver. I think you've got a keeper."

Seeing the emotion in his eyes, Ziva bit her lip and smiled briefly, more grateful to have a father around than he knew. Siah watched his mother leave. "I like Dayne, Grampa," he commented.

Gibbs ruffled his hair. "Yeah Siah, I guess I like him too." And just like that Gibbs knew things were about to change.

_Replies:_

_ZivaObsessed (NA 1) - lol...I promise Dayne is not evil. And yes, Z still loves Tony, but how long should she have to be alone? I think she at least deserves the chance to be happy again._

_Sarah (NA 1) - I'm not a fan of it either, trust me this plotline was not my idea! But she does deserve to be happy and I appreciate that you're willing to stick with the story. Z is very closed off, she's shut herself away, kept her emotions and love only for her son. I don't know that it's possible to be any more deeply hurt than to lose the love of your life and that's something Z never healed from, not really. I'm glad it seems like a realistic reaction. It sucks that Siah doesn't remember Tony, because Tony makes a great dad. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Guest (NA intro) - I'm glad to hear that you enjoy my FF stories. Well, I have written my own stories - several kids books and some young adult short stories (not published, just sitting in a binder) and I had a full length novel I wrote when I was in my teens. I wrote hundreds of God-inspired poems and worked sporadically on other story ideas. But the reason I'm writing FF right now is because this is what captured my heart - particularly T&Z's love in the Remnants of Somalia series. I would love to write something about RL, not based off FF and someone else's characters, but I don't have any ideas. I'm waiting for God to inspire me with a story He wants me to share. Until then, I fill my time with FF because to not write would be to deny my greatest joy. Thank you, it's always nice and a little surreal when people think I'm good enough to be writing outside of FF. I'm glad you think the story is compelling, hopefully it stays that way. Thank you for your review/comments :) ~Aliyah_


	4. Chapter 3

When Dayne walked Ziva to her building later, leaving Siah at Gibbs' house for a sleepover, she wondered what his gentleman side would say now that he'd been approved to date her. But instead of going for a kiss, which Ziva knew she wasn't ready for yet anyways, Dayne pulled her into a gentle hug. The motion startled Ziva and she tensed for a moment before relaxing against him. It had been such a long time since she'd felt a man's arms around her like that. She wondered if it was wrong to enjoy it.

Dayne pulled back, checking her eyes to see how she'd taken it. He'd learned early on that the advice she'd given him from her late husband about how expressive her eyes were was very true. She swallowed and looked up at him. "Why did you do that?"

He smiled slightly, running his hand down her arm. "I just wanted to see what it was like to hold you."

She bit her lip and looked down. "And?"

Dayne grinned when her eyes met his once more. "I may have to do it again sometime. So," he held his breath before asking the question, "do I get my chance?"

Ziva brushed her fingers lightly over his cheek. "Yes. But you should know that Siah's father was my last serious relationship, perhaps even my first, so please take things slow."

He shook his head. "Why would I want to rush this Ziva? I don't want to miss a thing." With that he said goodnight and walked back to his car. That night Ziva lay in bed, staring at the empty pillow and wondering just how much longer she would sleep alone.

**NCIS**

**September 2021**

She was different after that. Slowly, ever so slowly, Ziva began to return to them - the real Ziva, not the shadow of her they had seen for the last several years. Gradually the team started to lighten up, reverting to something almost normal as if they were waking from a long sleep or coming out of hibernation.

Abby finally got Ziva to agree to girl's nights again. They frequently spent Wednesday evening watching chick flicks and painting their nails and talking in a way they hadn't done since Tony's death. Abby had very much missed her friend, her sister, and to her surprise, Ziva realized she felt the same. For so long it has only been Gibbs and Siah allowed into her heart, but now, things were changing. Fueled by the man in Ziva's life, her heart got lighter and her grief became less of a focus. They felt like cheering when she made the first move and teased the new guy about something he'd done.

His desk was Tim's old one, the change motivated by McGee's sudden promotion to Senior Field Agent and Ziva's inability to look across the bullpen at someone new. Seeing Tim there in place of Tony had been hard enough. The new guy stopped mid sentence, Tim gaped at her and Gibbs brought the moment full circle by delivering his first headslap in half a decade to his senior agent.

Like a spell had been broken or a window opened and the sun finally let in, everyone could breathe again. "Donner!" Gibbs barked, startling the new guy out of his trance. "Interrogation, now!"

Jason blinked, absorbing the momentous change. He'd begun to wonder if any of them even knew his name. "Yes Boss," he saluted, hurrying away. From that day on, no one ever called him 'new guy' again unless it was in fun and he knew he was right about Ziva being the heart of the team.

**NCIS**

**September 2021 - first kiss, November 2021 - make-out territory, January 2022 - talk with Siah**

Dayne and Ziva dated for almost twelve weeks before he even made a move to kiss her, and Ziva was surprised at how much different it was, kissing this man. Dayne's mouth was nothing like Tony's. Tony's kiss and his touch had always been hungry, passionate, and full of love all wrapped up in one. But Dayne's lips sought hers gently and ended the caress tenderly. Nothing was rushed or hurried, and she had to fight the urge to touch her lips when he pulled away. It seemed impossible that she and Dayne could fit each other so well, and yet when they kissed, his mouth molding to hers, it was like pieces of a puzzle falling into place.

At five months he kissed her breathless and made her feel something she'd tried to forget - desire. But he never pushed the lines she'd drawn, even when it was clear that both of them were eager for more than just deep kisses and careful touches. Every choice he made concerning their relationship just made Ziva respect and care for him that much more.

When they'd been going out for seven months, Siah approached Dayne at school one day. It was difficult, but after finding out Siah was in his third grade gym class, Dayne had determined to treat him no differently than any other student. But it still made his day every time he saw the boy.

"What's up Buddy?" he asked. It looked like Siah had something on his mind.

Siah scuffed his shoe on the ground and sighed. "Mrs. Grimble gave us an assignment about dads," he began, and right away Dayne knew this would be no simple conversation. Siah looked up at him. "Mom says my dad was cool. I miss having a dad, everyone else has them, and I think you're cool. Can you be my dad?" the little boy asked hopefully, his green eyes shining.

Dayne blew out a breath and smiled sadly as he laid a hand on Siah's shoulder. What he wouldn't give for it to be that easy. "That's up to your mom Siah."

"I can ask her," he volunteered immediately. Siah was so excited at the prospect he was almost jumping up and down.

"Whoa, slow down Cowboy," Dayne laughed. "Something like me being your dad, it's not as easy as your mom buying you a new comic book or letting you sleep over at Kenton's house. It's a very serious, very grown up decision."

Siah's face fell. "You don't want to be my dad."

Dayne's heart squeezed and he knelt in front of the boy he loved. "Siah, that's not it at all. Any guy would be lucky to have a son like you, and I'm sure your dad is super proud of the way you've turned out. But your mom still misses him Buddy, and it won't be easy for her to let someone else have that job. So yes, you can ask her, but let's wait awhile before you do. It's something I should talk about with her as well."

"So maybe you can be my dad?" Siah asked, expectancy and trust filling his gaze.

Dayne ruffled his curls. "Maybe, but don't get excited about it yet."

"Okay." Back to being the sunshine he usually was, Siah darted away to go find his friends on the playground. Dayne watched him run and smiled, pride filling his heart. _Maybe you can be my dad?_ Siah's words repeated over and over in his mind. He nodded slowly. "I sure hope so Buddy," Dayne said under his breath. "I sure hope so."

**NCIS**

**April 2022**

Dayne knew it long before she agreed to go out with him. He wrestled with what it meant and kept the truth hidden for over a year. Sometimes the words were on the tip of his tongue, but he made himself wait. Ziva didn't need any pressure, she didn't need him to scare her away with an announcement she might not be ready to hear. But finally, shortly after the day marking their seventh month as a couple, Dayne couldn't keep his feelings hidden any longer. He walked her back to her apartment after a date, all the way up the stairs to her door and stopped her before she put the key in.

"Ziva," he whispered, rubbing his knuckles down her cheek, "I love you."

Whatever he expected her reaction to be, tears was not it. She started crying moments after the words left his lips and Dayne felt like a heel, wondering if he'd read everything wrong somehow. With a sigh he took the keys from her and unlocked the door, guiding her to the couch before he took her in his arms, his heart sinking straight to his toes.

The moments before she composed herself felt like eternity to the man who'd just given her his heart, but finally Ziva sat up and tried to find the words to explain. "The last time I heard those words was the morning Tony left and never came back." She put her hand on his cheek. "I am not crying because I am sad, but because the memories hurt. I need you to know what I feel in my heart for you Dayne, but I have not said that to a man since I said goodbye to my husband six and a half years ago. I am afraid you may have to wait a little longer." She shook her head. "I cannot say them yet."

Dayne pulled her close again and hugged her, feeling the need in her touch. "I'll wait Ziva, I will. I just wanted you to know."

Because she felt he deserved more, she kissed him, but Dayne wouldn't let her try to make it up to him by pushing the physical boundaries they'd been respecting. He repeated his declaration, kissed her forehead, and walked out of the apartment, not sure it had ever been harder to leave her. It was two long months of telling her every chance he got with no strings attached before she said the words back, and then he thought his heart might burst from the joy that filled it. Dayne kissed her so long in response that they both got lightheaded.

**NCIS**

**December 2022**

Dayne and Ziva hit a year and half before he got up the courage to ask her the big question, and even then he wasn't sure it was right. It happened the night of December 12th. He and Ziva went to a play and on the way home it started snowing. They stopped at a park and Dayne pushed Ziva on the swings, wishing he could capture the sound of her laughter. He hadn't even planned to ask her then, he'd been hoping for Christmas. But the snow was falling like fairy dust and Ziva looked so beautiful in the moonlight that suddenly Dayne found himself down on one knee in front of her. Ziva slowed to a stop, staring at him with wide eyes. He pulled off one glove and took a black velvet box from his pocket.

Dayne swallowed. "Ziva, I was planning to wait until Christmas to ask you this, but I guess my heart just can't wait any longer." He reached out and took her mittened hand in his. "From the first time we shared ice cream only minutes after being introduced, I knew you were special. You've been my friend for two and a half years, and my girlfriend for eighteen months. You've said yes twice and now I'm going to ask you for one more. I love you Ziva David, with all my heart. Will you marry me?"

He held his breath as Ziva put her other hand over her mouth and blinked back tears. Finally she nodded slowly, but her answer was a little different than what Dayne had expected. "Dayne, you know I love you even though sometimes those words are hard for me to say. I know it is not easy living in the shadow of another man, but you have never made me feel bad about Tony or kept me from remembering him. So I will say yes, but do not ask me to get married yet. I will marry you in April." She sighed, looking away. "I wish sometimes that I could forget. This week will be seven years and even now the memories would be too close."

Dayne closed his eyes briefly and got up to sit on the swing beside her. "The fifteenth. I'm so sorry Ziva, I forgot. I would've waited."

Ziva shook her head. "No," she said softly, "I am glad that you did not. It is a lovely early Christmas present. Being wanted, being loved, is a great gift." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, unaware how it was possible to feel pain and joy at the same time. "Thank you. I did not ever expect to be happy like this again."

Dayne turned his head just enough to capture her lips with his. The kiss was slow and sweet, but heavy with anticipation. When he let her breathe again, her fiancé smiled. "Want to see your ring?"

She nodded, eyes riveted to the box as he opened it. "Oh," she said, pulling off her mitten to touch it, "Dayne, it is beautiful."

The ring was silver, slender, with a beautiful round diamond inset, a small ruby on one side and an emerald on the other. "Green, for Siah's eyes," Dayne explained. "Red for my love. And a diamond because they are forever and they are a treasure, just as you are mine." Ziva kissed him again, then smiled while Dayne slid the ring onto her finger. The weight was familiar and yet strange - she'd stopped wearing her rings from Tony after three years. A symbol of their love and commitment, his promise never to leave, they had become too hard to look at.

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "I love you." Dayne savoured those words, because even though he knew she meant them, she still said them much less than he would like to hear. Then a thought hit her and she sat up. "Did you ask Gibbs?"

Dayne looked away and coughed. "I, uh...was going to do that on Christmas Eve."

Ziva's eyebrows rose and she held up her hand. "You might want to do it before he sees this. Or..." she left the thought unfinished but Dayne got the message.

"Maybe I'll ask when I drop you off there tonight," he said uneasily.

She patted his arm. "Smart man."

He was incredibly nervous by the time they made it back to Gibbs' house, but Ziva held his hand all the way to the door and then went to kiss Siah goodnight while Dayne faced the rather formidable looking federal agent who stood scowling at him like he already knew something had changed. Dayne cleared his throat and decided there was no point in beating around the bush. "I'd like your blessing to marry Ziva," he blurted out, wincing at the dark look he got.

"Last time I checked, we were supposed to have this conversation before you asked her." He got in Dayne's face and crossed his arms. "Hurt her and deal with me. This won't be easy, I hope you know what you're getting into."

Dayne shook his head. "Ziva's worth it."

Gibbs looked up the stairs. "You can come down now."

Ziva descended slowly and wrapped her arms around the man who had been her true father so as long as she cared to remember. "Thank you," she whispered.

He tipped her chin up. "He makes you happy Ziver?"

She blinked and a tear slid down her cheek. "He does."

Gibbs kissed her forehead. "Then you have my blessing." He released Ziva to go to her fiancé and felt his throat tighten. This moment should never have had to happen and he would always feel responsible for the love she had lost. But he knew what it was like to get a second chance. He was certain they would not take it for granted, even if a new beginning hurt for awhile before she realized it was okay to let go.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (NA3) - You're welcome :) Yeah, Ziva saying goodbye was very hard, I can't imagine what that kind of pain feels like. Yes, Dayne rhymes with rain :) I find it challenging to like Dayne too, but I think it must be awfully hard on him to be 'the other guy', to know that he'll never measure up to Z's first love, to feel - in some ways - that he's always in Tony's shadow, to never know when Z is thinking of him or Tony. It's not an easy place to stand. Really? You've been reading Tiva stories for months and you weren't a huge fan? lol. I don't want to see Z with anyone else either. I continue to blame this story on the evil plot leprechauns who have been banished to Timbuktu because of this plot._

_Guest (NA3) - Aww...well, I consider tears a compliment because I know the emotions are getting through, but I'm sorry it made you cry. Glad to hear it comes across realistic, thank you for saying it's well-written. I want to cry too, losing your soulmate has go to be the worst thing ever. If not for Siah, she might've given up completely. I want Z to be happy, but it's hard for me to let go of Tony too. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry for the delay folks. Wow, I didn't realize it's been 3 days since I posted. I got extremely wrapped up in Mechabeira's Foundling and A Village Life starting Sunday night and I literally could not put it down (those stories will break your heart but it's so worth it. What a journey!). If you haven't checked out her stuff, please do, it's awesome! And just to let you know I think we're only looking at 5 chapters in this story instead of 7 or 8. I've combined a few things because I don't like short chapters. So hopefully this will be all wrapped up by tomorrow or Saturday and again, thanks so much for giving this story a chance guys, I never expected the response I've gotten. You are all fabulous and I deeply appreciate your loyalty and fanship. From the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything. ~All my love, Aliyah_

Though Siah and his mom faithfully observed Hanukkah each year, he was also familiar with the team Christmas they attended at Ducky's house somewhere around the actual holiday, depending on cases. This year, however, Dayne spent Christmas morning with them. A week earlier Siah and Dayne had gone hunting for the perfect tree, which would be the first they'd had since Tony died. The 'men' came back hours later with red faces and huge grins and all three spent a lovely evening decorating the soft green branches.

But now Siah could finally tear into the presents that had slowly gathered underneath and Ziva and Dayne sat on the couch, watching him with happy hearts. Ziva received Siah's attempt at making a clay vase on a recent school field trip, and for Dayne the boy had worked very hard with Grampa Gibbs to carve a small airplane for the collection he'd shown Siah months ago.

"Thanks Buddy, this is awesome!" Dayne praised, wrapping the grinning eight year old in a hug. He flew the plane around the room and set it safely on one of Ziva's bookcases. "Siah, your mom and I have one more surprise for you."

His eyes widened. "More?"

"Yes," Ziva nodded, holding out her hand so her son could see the ring. "Dayne gave this to me. Do you know what it means?"

Siah shrugged and shook his head, so Dayne explained. "I asked your mom to marry me Siah, and she said yes."

Excitement lit his face. "Are you going to be my dad now?" he asked, starting to hop in place because he couldn't hold still.

Dayne laughed. "In about four months, if that's okay with you."

Siah threw his arms around the man's neck. "Yes, it's okay with me! I've wanted you for my dad since forever!" Dayne set the boy on his lap and Siah couldn't stop grinning. "Can I call you 'Dad' now?"

Dayne met Ziva's eyes and he saw her swallow hard before nodding once. "Yes Siah, if you want to, you may."

Bouncing Siah once, Dayne looked at him seriously. "But let's stick with 'Coach' when we're at school, okay?" Siah's face fell and Dayne leaned close as if the rest was a secret. "I wouldn't want the other kids to feel left out. None of their dads get to teach their classes."

Feeling very special, Siah agreed. "Okay." Then a thought hit him. "Hey, is Jake ours now?"

Dayne laughed. "I guess he is. You'll have to tell him next time you're over Buddy, it can be a surprise."

"Are we going to live at Dad's house?" Siah asked, using the word for the first time in six years as if he'd never stopped.

The couple exchanged glances and Ziva put her hand on Siah's knee. "We have not talked about that yet yakiri, but we will have to move. Three cannot fit in this small of a space."

"That's fine," Siah shrugged. "Home is people anyways."

Her smile trembled and she pointed to the tree. "See if Dayne will help you will your remote control truck. I think he is just as excited as you about that one."

Siah eagerly hopped off Dayne's lap and tugged at his hand. "Come on Dad, let's play."

Ziva watched for a moment and then slipped out of the room and down the hall to her bedroom. Shutting the door, she walked over to her dresser and pulled the second drawer open. There, buried beneath her pyjamas, was a photo of she and Tony on their wedding day. She traced his face and allowed the tears to fall. "It is not fair ahava, and it is not easy to watch Siah so easily accept the man who is to fill your shoes. I wish it was you he was calling his father, but that is not possible, so I am thankful we no longer spend this day alone." She kissed her fingers and pressed them over Tony's heart. "I miss you." Then she put the picture away, cleaned her face and returned to watch the boys play. At least there was something to make her smile.

**NCIS**

**January 2023**

The first week of January Dayne broached what he felt to be a sensitive subject with his fiancee. They were taking a walk through the park while Siah spent some quality time with Gibbs, holding hands and not feeling the need to talk. He spent awhile gathering his courage before leading Ziva over to a bench. She looked at him expectantly and Dayne gave her a small smile. "Ziva, I was wondering what you would think about me adopting Siah." Her breath caught and he hastened to reassure her. "I'm not trying to take Tony's place, I promise. But I would just really like him to be my son too."

Her thoughts were flying wildly and Ziva sought something to hold onto in the midst of her uncertainty. She pictured Tony, laying on the couch, their week old baby asleep on his chest, and then Dayne, playing basketball with Siah, mutual adoration in their eyes. She swallowed. "I would like him to keep Tony's name," Ziva said softly. "Siah was Tony's son first, and that will be all we have left of him."

Dayne kissed the back of her hand. "That's fine Ziva, I understand. Is that a yes?"

She nodded. "We have to talk to Siah first, but if his answer is what I expect, then yes, we agree."

"Good." He laced their fingers together and breathed in the crisp air. In just seventy-three days he would have the family he'd always dreamed about.

**NCIS**

**April 2023**

The wedding was a simple, beautiful affair. The team came, and Dayne's mother and sister flew to DC for the ceremony. They chose to have no attendants and Ziva's dress was short and non-traditional. They were doing their best to avoid bringing any sad memories into the first day of their new life. Siah walked Ziva down the aisle and handed Dayne the box containing their rings. He stood beside his new dad, proud as could be, and cheered when the minister told them to seal their vows with a kiss. Then the young boy threw himself first at Ziva and then at Dayne, smiling bigger than he ever had in his whole life. For the almost ten year old, the day was a dream come true.

The boy was reluctant to go with his grandfather after the dinner part of the reception, and almost cried when he said goodbye to his parents. But Ziva assured him they would be back in one week and Dayne charged him with keeping Jake busy so he wouldn't notice they were gone. The couple shared their first dance and then left in a limo to go to a quiet hotel near the airport. Their honeymoon destination was Mexico, for some sunshine and plenty of time to relax in the warmth that DC didn't offer in April. But for the first night, it was just the two of them and Dayne was both anxious and nervous by the time they made it to their room.

Ziva was hesitant as she undressed and slipped into the silver, knee length nightgown she'd purchased recently. It seemed wrong to wear the lingerie she'd bought during her marriage to Tony when she was with Dayne, so all of those items had been carefully packed away during the move. Although they had known each other nearly three years, she had told Dayne nothing about her past before NCIS or Tony. He did not know that she was once an assassin for Mossad, nor about three months of hell endured in an African terror camp. He had never seen her in less than a t-shirt and shorts and although many of the scars had faded over the years, the wounds on her back still stood out quite obvious in contrast to her skin.

Taking a deep breath, Ziva stepped out of the bathroom and smiled tentatively at Dayne, who wore pyjama pants and a white t-shirt. "I think you are over-dressed."

He gave her a self-conscious grin and moved slowly closer. "I didn't want to rush anything."

Ziva tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I should not be nervous," she confessed, "but I am."

Their slow progress towards each other finally culminated in Dayne's arms slipping around her back. "You look beautiful," he whispered.

Ziva felt his heart racing under her hands and was about to say something when his fingers strayed above the back of the negligee and encountered the scarred skin. His eyes widened and he turned her around. "My gosh Ziva, what happened to you?"

She faced him again, shaking her head slowly. "There is much you do not know Dayne, and much I would rather not tell you. So many things about my life before NCIS I am not proud of. I want to be someone different now. Can you let me be the woman you met three years ago, without all the details of who I was before?"

Dayne studied her carefully before leaning in to kiss her. "I know your heart Ziva, that's enough for me. As far as I'm concerned, if the past is not something you want to share, it can stay there. I love you, nothing changes that."

Ziva rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered, then smiled. "Your heart is pounding. Are you excited or nervous?"

"A bit of both," he admitted, staring into her eyes. "You're the first woman I've ever been with Ziva." At her surprise, Dayne smiled and pulled her close, kissing her neck. "I was waiting for someone special, the woman I would share my life with," he whispered without embarrassment. "You, my lovely wife, are more than worth it."

Ziva touched his cheek gently. "I am honoured." She brushed her lips over his. "It has been a long time since I shared my bed with a man, we will figure this out together, yes?"

His answer was a long kiss and Ziva led him towards the bed. It was good not to worry about disappointing him, and her anxiety disappeared under Dayne's tender touch as she guided him when they became one for the first time.

**NCIS**

The new family celebrated Siah's tenth birthday ten days after they returned home and only three days after finally getting the last of their things moved into the new house. It had been a process that stretched over the course of several weeks, a little bit at a time. Siah was ecstatic because the move put him within biking distance of both Grampa Gibbs and his two best friends. It was also close to school so Dayne offered to drive him some mornings and let them spend extra time together.

Ziva made her son a cake and they gathered at the kitchen table and Dayne grinned. "Okay Buddy, blow out your candles and make a wish."

Siah shrugged. "What for? I have a dad and Jake, that's everything I ever wanted." He pet the dog hovering close to his chair hoping for crumbs to fall.

At his words Ziva had to blink back tears both happy and sad and Dayne coughed to clear the emotion in his throat, then ruffled Siah's hair. "I'm glad. But you should still make a wish, just in case."

Without questioning the statement, Siah took a breath and extinguished all the flames with one blow, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. Then he jumped up. "Can we go play basketball Dad? Mom's cake could be dessert."

He still savoured each time Siah called him that, even though he'd been practicing for months. "Whatever you want Buddy, it's your birthday."

"Want to watch us Mom?" Siah turned eager eyes to Ziva, who had always been his biggest fan.

She smiled "I think I will start supper first, you will be hungry after using up all that energy."

Dayne nudged his son and leaned down to whisper in his ear. Siah nodded and turned back to Ziva. "Dad says gentlemen would help you with dinner after basketball, and that since it's my birthday, we can have cake first."

Ziva chuckled and raised an eyebrow at her husband. "Is that so? Very well then, I will come." They each took a hand and pulled her out the door, settling her on the front steps before they raced for the hoop. Listening to their laughter and looking at her rings, Ziva thought back to that day in Autopsy when she said goodbye to Tony, and was never so thankful to have been wrong about what the future would hold.

_Replies:_

_tranquility (NA 3) - Oh, I do not ever want to see this as a possible future, I'm quite content for it just to be fiction and stay there. I'm glad you gave the story a chance. I think in some cases, men especially, seem to have a harder time moving on. And while I could see T or Z mourning that loss forever, I didn't want that to be the case. I'm always glad to hear realistic, that's what I strive for in my stories. Dayne knows what he wants and he has a lot of patience to wait for it, that in itself is part of what makes him a good man. It's hard on my Tiva heart too, I'll be glad when it's over. Thanks so much for reviewing! :)_

_Sarah (NA 3) - Thanks :) I'm glad you're starting to like Dayne, he's happy to have a few fans. It is good to see Z healing, but it's still hard and it still hurts. It takes a sepcial guy, I think, to know he will never be the first man in your heart. haha...typical Gibbs with that line. Really? lol...that's cool. I'm always happy to make a Tiva shipper out of someone. If you can't tell already, they're kind of my favourite :P You love the evil plot leprechauns? You can have them! I'm pawning them off to willing bidders at the conclusion of this story. They've served their purpose and are free now to go and rain on someone else's otherwise story ideas, lol._

_ (NA 3) - Really? Wow, that's kind of the hugest compliment ever because that it always my goal when I write something challenging, I want it to seem real. I'm sorry about your grandma, my grampa went through something similar. It's so good tho that they get a second chance at love and happiness. Tears are also a compliment, it means the emotions are getting through :) Thanks so much for all the lovely comments, you're very sweet :)_

_Tali (NA 3) - lol, no worries, your English sounds pretty good to me. What's your first language? Thank you, that's very sweet of you to say. Wow, I'm always glad to hear realistic but I'm sorry the story hits so close to home. I try not to imagine Z or T with someone else in their lives, but in this case the evil plot leprechauns didn't give me a choice. I wanted to explore that type of grief, but I hope I never have to do it again. I think I understand what you're saying, it's nice to have hope :) Wow, thanks. I'm glad it met your expectations and I'm always honoured to be someone's first review! Thank you :)_


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: So here it is guys, the last chapter. Thank you so much for your support during this story, it means a lot. And Dayne would like to thank everyone who said nice things about him, he never expected to end up with so many fans :) He promises to take good care of Ziva so no one has to send Gibbs after him. Oh, and because a couple people asked - this story is really more about Ziva and her healing. Gibbs makes an appearance because he was the only one she let close after Tony died and even tho she has worked on renewing her friendships with the rest of the team since she and Dayne started dating, this isn't a team story, or the team as a family story, so you'll just have to imagine how everyone else reacted to this change in her life. Sorry if anyone's disappointed. And now, without further delay, I give you the final chapter of Never Again. Thank you for reading :)_

**September 2023**

It wasn't until five months after their wedding that Siah's adoption papers came through and the boy was thrilled to be officially Isaiah Anthony DiNozzo Cole. Now having rights as his father, Dayne took copies of the paperwork into school the next morning to update his records. That same day Ziva had her annual appointment with their family doctor, Elin Grant. "Well Ziva," she smiled upon entering the room, "how are you doing?"

"Fine," the woman answered automatically and Elin chuckled.

"Nothing new I need to know about?"

She shrugged and then nodded. "I need to update Siah's information. My husband's request for adoption was finally approved."

"That's good news," the doctor agreed, making a note in her chart. "Why don't you bring copies in on Friday? I'll need you back anyways to go over the results of your bloodwork."

Since Somalia doctors had been keeping a close eye on Ziva's health. She suffered from a chronic low iron problem that came and went and often left her feeling tired for days no matter how much sleep she got. Her blood was also monitored for any trace of the infections and viruses that had swept through her body and ravaged her immune system in the months after she returned from Africa. No one was taking a chance on her ever getting that sick again.

"Very well," Ziva agreed, then lay down so Dr. Grant could begin her exam.

**NCIS**

Three days later Dayne got home from work and walked in the door, kicking off his shoes as he flipped through the mail. It was the Friday before school started and he'd finally gotten all his prep work done. Gym teachers did not have it as easy as the rest of the world might think. He had to decide on all the sports and activities for every day and week, plus what he would cover in the health class section that was included several times a month. Dropping his keys in a dish on the hall table, he set the mail out in separate piles based on recipient and looked up, stopping in his tracks. His wife sat on the lounger in their livingroom, leaning over with elbows resting on her knees and fingers tangled in her hair as she stared at the floor.

Checking his watch, Dayne frowned. "Sweetheart, why are you home so early?"

It was strange timing for the differences between Dayne and Tony to suddenly list themselves in her head, and she saw them all at a glance before she even realized what she was thinking. Tony always called her babe, ninja, crazy chick etc. But they were passionately in love so it was okay. Dayne used endearments like sweetheart, love, honey and beautiful, along with some old fashioned ones she's never heard outside of novels before they met. There was just a different feel about the way he said those things.

Tony was never without a movie quote or storyline or scene or cinematic reference to apply to every situation. Dayne talked in unintentional song titles and it always made her laugh that he didn't realize what he was saying until she pointed it out. Which just gave him an excuse to sing to her, something Dayne did often when he wanted to hold her close and dance around the room after Siah was asleep. Speaking of their son, Tony always called Siah 'little man', ever since the first time the baby boy was placed in his arms. Dayne, from the moment he met Siah, dubbed him 'buddy'. It was rare for Tony to use her whole name once they were married, to him she was always 'Zi'. Dayne never tried to shorten her name, perhaps afraid of stepping on any old memories. All these things went through her head in an instant, before she even lifted her eyes to his.

When Ziva looked up and he couldn't read the emotion in her eyes, Dayne's stomach clenched. That was bad. Immediately he went over and knelt before her, taking her hands in his. "I'm here honey. What is it?"

She stared into his eyes, not sure where to begin. "I have to tell you something."

Dayne brushed back her hair. "You know you don't have to tell me anything Ziva, I will love you with or without the details."

Ziva's smile was brief. "This I think you will want to know."

"Okay." His eyes never left hers as he waited until she was ready.

She sighed. "I am pregnant."

Dayne's eyes widened. "Pregnant?" That was something he hadn't expected. "I thought-"

Ziva nodded. "It came as a shock to me as well. They told me today when I went into the doctor's office to drop off a copy of Siah's adoption papers so they could update their records. I had such a difficult time getting pregnant with Siah, I did not think it could happen again." After Somalia, many things about her body had changed.

He moved to sit beside her, keeping his hands around hers. "It wasn't exactly in our plans, huh?"

She pulled one hand free to rub her eyes. "Especially not after only five months." His reaction troubled her. They had never talked about having a child of their own, content with the family they had. Dayne loved Siah like he was his real father, even if in the eyes of the law he was now anyways. She just hoped he would not make her choose.

They were silent for awhile, each lost in their own separate thoughts, before Dayne spoke. "You love me, right?"

Fear gripped Ziva's heart. _Not an ultimatum, please_. If he suggested she end the pregnancy or said he'd rather not go through with it, he was not the man she'd fallen in love with and married several months ago. "Yes," she said slowly.

"Say it," Dayne requested. Sometimes he just needed to hear the words, even if he knew how she felt.

She swallowed. "I love you Dayne."

He nodded. "And I love you. And Siah. A baby will just add to that love." Dayne leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "I'm thrilled to be having a child with you Ziva."

"Really?" she asked, having not expected that. "I thought maybe..." She trailed off but one look in her eyes and Dayne understood. He took her face in his hands.

"Ziva, I would never ask you do to something like that. I would never make you choose between your children and me, never use my love to force a decision, especially one with consequences like that." He shrugged. "I admit that I'm surprised sweetheart, but I love you, so really this can only be good news."

Relief flooded Ziva and she sagged against him. "Thank you," she whispered.

He kissed her temple, her cheek, then her lips. "Do you know how far along you are?"

Ziva shook her head. "I think I am only just pregnant. A blood test will show it far faster than a home one."

Dayne held her close, letting the news sink in. "Do you want to tell Siah?"

Thinking about it, Ziva shook her head. "Not right now. Maybe by Christmas. I can probably hide it no longer than four months."

Dayne chuckled. "We kind of excel at big presents. Last year he got a dad, this year a sibling."

"I will have to tell Gibbs right away though," Ziva continued, her hand automatically falling to her lower abdomen, "I cannot be in the field any more."

"Mmm," Dayne knew Ziva didn't do well behind a desk. "That's a good idea. Wouldn't want to risk anything happening to either of you."

Finally free now to be happy, to be excited now that her husband knew and was okay with it, Ziva smiled. "We are going to have a baby Dayne."

He kissed her. "Yeah, and it's going to be awesome."

**NCIS**

Christmas morning came at the Cole household and although Ziva smiled and laughed and hugged both her men at all the right moments, Dayne could still read the tension in her body language. She worked very hard to keep her hands from straying to her abdomen, not that the gesture would mean anything to her son, but it was a precaution none the less. Finally, once wrapping paper was scattered hither and yon around the livingroom by Jake's enthusiastic tail wagging, everyone had been appropriately thanked for the thoughtful gifts, and Siah had calmed down enough to simply cuddle the puppy that rested in his lap - part present and part bribe, not that he knew that - instead of dancing around the room whooping with excitement, Ziva finally got his attention.

"Siah? Dad and I have something to tell you."

He looked up, with stars still in his eyes because of the ball of fur he held and an early start on Christmas candy. "Is it about my puppy?

Dayne chuckled. "No, this is a little bigger than a puppy buddy."

The boy's face screwed up like he couldn't imagine anything that would top a new pet and Ziva continued, reaching for her husband's hand. "I am pregnant Siah. We are having a baby."

Siah made a face. "A baby? What do we need one of those for?"

Dayne laughed. "Well, I guess we don't really need one, but this one is coming anyways. And he or she is going to be pretty lucky to have you for a big brother."

Siah bit his lip, not quite sure what to think about the news. "Do I have to share my puppy?"

Ziva and Dayne exchanged glances. Hers was clearly reminiscent of 'I told you so', reminding him that she'd suggested giving Siah the puppy after their announcement, but Dayne couldn't wait that long. Ziva smiled. "I think it would be nice if you let the baby play with your puppy when he or she gets older, but no Siah, that puppy belongs to you. Perhaps though, you would consider sharing Jake?"

He thought about that one for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, I can share Jake. I don't want him to get lonely now and think I love my puppy more than him. He was my dog first." Siah looked at Dayne. "Well, I guess he was Dad's dog first, then mine. But I still love him." Thoughts continued to run through his head and finally he glanced between them. "Will you love the baby more than me because he's new?"

That got Ziva off the couch to sit beside her son, one arm around him and one resting on the golden retriever puppy who was snuggled into Siah's bathrobe and fast asleep. "No tatelah," she said firmly, stroking his curls, "we could never love any child more than we love you. But we will love this baby just as much because he or she is ours too."

He still seemed uncertain, so Dayne joined them. "It's just like what you said about Jake and the puppy. You love them both, not one more than the other. Moms and dads have enough love to share with all their kids, they don't keep it just for one or the other."

Siah nodded slowly. "Okay. I guess we can have a baby. Is he going to be loud?"

"Sometimes," Ziva conceded. "When the baby is hungry or needs to be changed or held there will be crying so we know he needs something. But it will not be loud all the time."

The boy shrugged and picked up his puppy before standing. "Good. Come on Jake, let's take the puppy to my room and find a name."

They watched him got and Dayne offered his hand to help his wife up. "I think that went pretty well."

Ziva's eyes followed her son up the stairs. "We will see what happens in a couple days when the news has time to sink in. The stories he hears from kids at school may make him want to take back his answer."

Dayne wrapped his arm around her. "Nah, we've got a good kid here Ziva, I think he'll be just fine."

"Yes," she smiled, "perhaps you are right." Every change took some getting used to, but as long as Siah had their love Ziva was pretty sure this one would not be as difficult as she'd originally thought.

**NCIS**

**Epilogue - June 2024**

Three days after his second Father's Day Dayne sat in a hospital room holding his newborn daughter. "Evany Amira Cole," he whispered, running a finger over her downy hair and adjusting his hold on her. He glanced at his wife sleeping peacefully in the bed, exhausted from thirteen hours of labour. Whoever said the second one is easier was wrong, she'd reported grumpily earlier between contractions. It hadn't been appropriate to laugh then and now the memory just made him smile.

The baby stirred and he lifted Evany up so he could kiss her forehead. "Hey there munchkin, what do you think of life on the outside so far, huh? It's not that bad, right. Lots of warm blankets, a mommy and daddy who love holding you, oh, and your brother's coming later. I can't wait for the two of you to meet. He's a good boy Ev and he's going to be a great big brother, just you wait." Dayne worked his finger into her hand. "But for now I get you all to myself, so I think I'll just enjoy it a little big longer."

A couple hours later when it was closer to a normal time of the morning, Dayne stood in the waiting room anxiously anticipating the arrival of his son. The boy burst into the room seconds later with Gibbs on his heels and Dayne wrapped him in a bear hug. "Ready to meet your sister buddy?"

Siah held up the lamb his grandfather had helped him pick out and nodded. Leading the way to Ziva's room, he cautioned Siah to be gentle with his mom and then let him loose to hug her. Ziva held her son close and breathed in his scent. Her eyes were shining as she gestured for Dayne to get the baby. "This is Evany," she told him. "Would you like to hold her?"

His eyes widened. "She's kinda little, what if she breaks?"

Dayne chuckled. "No worries about that sport, we trust you."

Not appearing convinced, the young boy sat in the chair by his mom's bed and she showed him how to put his arms. Dayne lowered the infant into his hold and watched the wonder cross his face. "Hi Anny," he said, looking at her. "I'm Siah." A proud grin spread over his lips. "I'm your big brother." Siah reached for the lamb by his side and put it right in front of Evany's eyes. "And this is Shep, he's a baby lamb, just like you're a baby person. I think you'll like him. He's nice and soft, and he won't mind if you chew on his ears." Evany's eyes slid shut and Siah looked at her with an expression that could almost be called tender. "Okay, well I'll just keep him for you until you're awake, okay? And when you come home, you can meet Jake and Riley. He's my dog, but Jake is ours and you can share him, okay? I think they're gonna like you." He leaned down to kiss her forehead and both parents had trouble keeping the tears at bay as they observed the tender moment between brother and sister.

Ziva watched Dayne crouch beside the chair and took in her family. Eight and a half years ago she had been shattered by Tony's death. Four years ago she hadn't been sure she could find the strength to open herself up to love again. But three years ago she made a choice and now, looking with tears at the reward her decision had become, Ziva was so thankful because she knew she would not be alone or without love, never again.

The End.

_Replies:_

_Tali (NA 4) - Hi! lol...I'm impressed, your English is way better than my French. I usually get lost after 'hi' and 'my name is...' :P I'm glad you liked the chapter. I know, everyone's having a hard time keeping up with the pace but this was the way the story wrote itself, not leaving a whole lot of time to slow down and get used to all the changes. You're welcome :) lol...I'm looking soo forward to tomorrow so I can start posting some happy T&Z stuff. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Sarah (NA 4) - You're welcome :) Thanks, glad you liked it. I know, a lot of people aren't really on board with Dayne adopting Siah, but although he's doing it for love and to truly make them a family, there's also the practical aspect of it - if anything were to happen to Z, I would hate for Eli to think he could get custody of his grandson. Dayne needs to be his legal guardian for a 'just in case' scenario. I'm glad Z not telling Dayne about everything makes sense, she really doesn't ever want to get into the past, like she's rather forget it ever happened, which I can understand. thanks for reviewing! :)_


End file.
